all the Mid's

   Being in our mid 20's is a little crazy. As men and as women.  When we feel like we should have so much accomplished and have our lives together. Well..... we DO NOT. And frankly never will. So how do we enjoy and not stress or be anxious for it?

  I was talking to a few girlfriends of mine on how we thought our lives would be so different than they are now when we were younger. How we thought our careers would be huge, we would be married, maybe have kids... Now this is the young hearts speaking here.... And as an adult,  we are so thankful that things did not happen that way. But it is funny how we worry so much about the future. Why? It is going to happen no matter what so why not enjoy the present and be exited while still planning wisely for the future. We build this vast idea of what our future should look like and we worry and toil over the thought of it every day. We know Scripture says do not be anxious for tomorrow. Obviously this is easier said than done...

  For me, I feel personally I feel like I should be as Lil Wayne says... "25 sittin on $25 mill." When I moved out to LA I was all set to become this huge person in the entertainment realm as well as the business realm. I cannot even tell you how much I have and still do stretch myself out so thin trying to make this happen. The only difference between then and now, is I realize it takes time for one to build their empire.... I know that sounds crazy... But It's true on what I have been trying to do:) Currently working on a new kids water out in LA, artist development, serving, training to be a vocal coach along side the amazing Brett Manning, writing songs, writing blogs and hopefully a few books, wanting a family, wanting to help a friend start a publishing company.... these are all the things I have on my hands and the tasks I want to see happen right away.... But what good is a thing that starts without giving time and getting the hands dirty for. Great things take time. 

   At the end of the day we know what really matters. The social status does not exist, the money always comes and goes.  I am not saying do not work hard, but I am saying to not work hard on the things that do not matter.... Be diligent in your work and career, and do not be lazy. However, be diligent and faithful and steadfast in the Word, on your friends, in your family. (Side note) 

  Rest assure.... though when we have a low key day to actually rest, it turns into  us freaking out about what we are doing with out lives, know that you are here for something HUGE! And you will not have everything all together all the time... actually hardly ever. Enjoy this moment in your life because you are not going to have it again. It's like a relationship.... There is the fun exiting beginning, the defining moment, the serious talk, the engagement, the wedding day, and the kid being born and so on and so on.... each time if a gift... take this time you have and be faithful in it. Corrie ten Boom said it perfectly...  "“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.” 

   I hope this encouraged you today!

KT

    

Rejoice

   I like the feeling of being pressed for time for a project, or a situation because it makes me want to do everything fast pace which is what I know best.... I thrive under stressed. (which is not good because the wrinkles are starting to show) I hustle, I network, I work all day and multitask with as much as I possibly can. That is just how I work best. However, I have just left two jobs and am in the midst of transitioning from the last two to two new jobs.... So, I have about 2 weeks of down time and let me tell you..... I HATE IT!!!!!! I honestly feel way out of my comfort zone because I actually have quite a lot of quiet time and down time.. ( though I have filled it up quickly with social events) But, this time has forced me to really just sit a be more than I usually do. Scary!!! When I have those quiet times I tend to freak out and begin to question if I am doing anything right in my life. Just a typical 20 somethings thought. ;) Why do I do this? Last week I was going crazy.... Literally.... I was going out every single night with dear friends, staying out super late.... and repeat the next day and night.... and just asking God what the heck am I doing with my life?! I then realized.... I was asking so much and freaking out, that when I turned on some worship music and played it though the house, my heart just stopped!! I had been craving to simply sit and rejoice in the moment. Ever think of that?!

   We press for time, and are always go go go and give God thanks for when things are good and busy, but then when we have a moment to sit we freak out and question everything. Well guess what! He gives us the time during the day, and during the night..... So rejoice, and thank Him. It is the little moments we claim count in life anyways.... I dare you the next time you have some down time... to blast the worship music and just listen to it with a thankful heart. You will be so filled with joy and contentment.  

  That is all for now:) Not to to much happening. Few dates and whatever but I will write about them later:) Gotta make sure they don't read this blog first ;)

KT

Thank You

     You look stunning. I love that outfit. Girl you are looking good. Look how tiny you are..... These are phrases girls say to one another often.  And though we are quick to give these compliments away, we are stubborn to receive them. All my girls are stunning. They have wonderful figures, curvy and thin. Glowing skin, beautiful hair, great style and even more so they have such stunning hearts. I am in awe of every single one of them individually and make sure they know and understand their beauty. However, when I give them these words of affirmation, quickly argue about something on them that is wrong. I do this too! ALOT! And why is it when we want words of affirmation and are given them, we argue them and turn them down? Is it because it is not from a man? The thing is ladies, men love us! They love our figure because they do not have it. They love our faces because no one else looks like us. They adore our hips, our thighs, our skin, our arms.... yeah I said it!!!! THEY LOVE OUR ARMS!!!!! Especially the back of them... ( Which I do this day will never understand).... I know we have all had them pinch us on the fat part of our arms ;).... And they love it! So how about we embrace the fact that we..... are beautiful... uniquely in every way.

   My room mate and I were talking one night after a long day of working. We were both drained physically, mentally, emotionally and ever spiritually that night. We were just rambling on about how we were tired of always fighting so hard just to keep above water in every way. She is in a relationship and was talking about her struggles in the relation, and I was telling her how I was struggling some in the lack of relation I had. We both listened, and then both separately reminded one another that we are daughters of the Most High. Princesses of the Kingdom of God. Made in the image of God, and He finds such delight in us and our individual gifts that were given to us. After tears and frustrations, we really were reminded of our true pure beauty. Research what is said about His delight in us... and being created in His image.

  Be encouraged ladies. We all will have days when we feel so disgusting and do not want to leave the house. Days when we feel bloated, have a pimple, hair is too stringy, thighs jiggle to much...... But know you are beautiful. You are seen as beauty because you have something no one else has. 

  There is perfection in the imperfection I truly believe it.  So tell me what is the staple of you figure that you love? Mine?  My hips and my butt.... I love and hate them;).... However whenever I felt nasty or insecure... one of my best men would tell me to look in the mirror and say to myself.... You're a Sexy Bitch.....  Try it:) It works! 

-So remember ladies, Say Thank You

-KT

love?

   In todays society, I have found it quite difficult to be a romantic. Well, perhaps not a full romantic, but hard to swoon over those things that are kind, sweet, selfless, because now, no one thinks it ever happens. That's hopeful! We live in a day of age where the faster the better. The stronger the better. Guards up, walls built, hearts bitter. Yet we all aspire the same thing. LOVE. Could be in marriage, could be in a friendship, or from a family member. We all want love. So why is love to difficult to be had? And sometimes, too difficult to give? I am speaking here from a women's perspective. I have no clue what the guys tend to think, and I am going to be honest.... I don't think I wanna try that:) I like just trying to figure one out... it's enough for me at this moment. :)
   Today, Love is shoved in our face as something it may not necessarily be. We see or hear how perfectly passionate, hot, fast, all knowing it is on TV, movies, in books, but really, in those there is always tragedy. I mean that in the sense of.... cheating, divorce, you name it.... (Now I am not coming to you judging, for I have no right to judge anything... I am simply word vomiting into this computer to try and figure out how we has women can stand true.) We all have heard, love is patient, love is kind. However, have you really read the whole verse and let yourself have some time to actually sit on it? I give you, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 4Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;^b 6it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 
     I highlighted the parts that I need to sit on. Because let's be honest, I have a tendency of liking things to go my way, being arrogant about it because I think I know what is best. I mean I do!;) Duh! We as Christians follow the example of Christ. A perfect example. So how do we with hope and not weary hearts aspire to be of that which is impossible because we are living in sin? By grace! It is grace with which we are loved and sought after. Grace in which we are saved and rescued. Grace! 
   I am giving you a small encouragement because I have so much on my mind and if I really get to writing then there is no turning back! haahahah! I go big or go home. So today, as we again, for the billionth time look at this verse, really study it. This is to give you hope in what love really is and not what society has painted it to be. There are alot more verses to come obviously, but I wanted to start softly, (though no truth is soft to the touch and easy on the eyes). Be encouraged. Dive in to this whole chapter and let yourself be romanced by the words of God. 

    And then we will talk about the whole pursuing and dating in this day.... Cuz let's be honest ladies and gents, it is not pretty....  

-KT

Be Good to You

 We all know this year has been quite the year of trials, lil bumps, laughs, tears, goals being met, and goals changing.  It has been a year of growing, and it is the best and hardest thing anyone will go through.  As I have been going through this, I am the type of person that shrugs things off and digs into the business of work and gym. Let myself drown in them before I can sit and think about it because I do not like the way it feels.... However, I am trying to step back and try to work it out so that I do not harden myself anymore than I already am. Luckily I have softened a lil, and I am still trying to figure out if I like it.... Because I am not used to it at all. My mom has told me, "Katie, treat yourself to something, you have to take care of Katie." I told her I am. I work, and workout and hang with friends and I find alot of filling in that! She goes "no, something out of the ordinary, you work because you can busy yourself, you workout for the same reason, and you hang with friends because you like to serve them and not yourself." I was like... Dang mom. Ok well Lets see..... I kept coming up with work and workout and taking my friends out, I even went shopping and didn't buy much. ( as funny as that sounds it means alot for me hahahahaha) I realized by how I treat myself it shows how I feel about myself. In a sense. The scripture tells us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. How much do we love ourselves? Um.... I can't stand myself 90% of the time because of the pressure I put on myself... Sorry neighbors.... working on it. ;)
    It is so easy to take care of someone else and push ourselves out of the picture because we do not wanna look in the mirror and see what is there, because we only see someone we cannot stand. Well guess what!!!! When God looks at us, does He see that? No! We were intricately woven and created so individually and stamped with his fingerprints that He sees His daughter or son, and is PROUD.  This past weekend was Easter. If we were not worth it then He would not have sent His son for our sakes.  Thus, with Christ redeeming us, we have our full identity in Him. What do you think about when you think of Him? Fat, ugly, loser, failure, empty, guilty, lost? Absolutely not. We think, Perfectly made, beautiful, chosen, filled with the Spirit, cleansed, found.
   Will we struggle with this feeling? of course. I will always have insecurities in myself because my flesh is fallen, but knowing my identity is in my creator I can withstand the lies that come into my head. Easier said than done of course, but still. I am learning how to through it all up into His hands. HARD!!!!!!! Because this lady y'all likes to be front and center and in control of everything. And now I got to let it be!??!?!! EF!! But the freeing feeling of casting anxiety to Him is the best! You cannot carry it alone my love. Not even close. Give it up, and treat yourself to something good:) You do deserve it. It is a healing process from the inside out, but it is nice because when you treat yourself you can hold, feel, or taste it.
   How I have been. I went and did some shopping, I got two pairs of HOT heals that make me feel very sexy when I wear them. I also go dancing:) ahahhahaha. Let people treat me if they ask to. I always turned down that blessing, when people offered to take me for nails, or lunch, I would say no, thinking in my head I can take myself out if I want to. Take the blessing someone wants to give you.
 Now I have rambled off all over the place as usual. But my point is to take care of you from the inside out. Love, it is worth it. Because doing so, you feel great! I know I do! ( that sounded like a commercial)

LOVE YOU

day by day

   I have honestly typed about fifty different lines to start out this blog..... each one very much different than the other. I do not know how to start because I do not know what to write. There is so much, sooooooooo much going through my mind and my heart that I kinda feel numb. The feeling I have, if this makes any sense is that I am growing a tone inside, and feel like I am about to burst out of my flesh. Yeah, thats it. I cannot help but think if some things didn't happen in the past 6 months how I would be.  How would my heart be? I am totally typing my thoughts as they seriously come to me. lol.  I adore my job and those I work with. I would take bullets for them they r amazing.  I adore the opportunities that I have right now, and the business inside my head is in the beginning stages of talking and meetings:) Cannot be more exited about that. But I still feel like I am missing something. To add some humor, I have money now, and do not want to go shopping. HAHAHHAH. seriously thought!!! I am a shopper, and I have not wanted to at all lately. That really shows something is wrong ;) hahahah. 

   I dunno, have you ever been in that season where you literally take life one day at a time? My mom always told me for the longest time, KT, you can't worry about everything to come, just be faithful with today and when tomorrow comes be faithful with it as well. Well, I am actually doing that.  I am a plan ahead person. Have everything lines up so that I can control the whole thing and fix the details. Well, I am now living faithfully ( well trying :) ) in what each day brings. I have my ambitions and my desires, and so I see how I can further them into reality day by day.  God is faithful to those whom are faithful to Him also. I felt like this time in my life was a numbness to Him. I honestly have not been reading in my scriptures but at church, I pray daily, but they are not always heartfelt prayers. But lately the prayers have changed and He has given me a bit of an eye opening. I am to be still in Him. Know He is God and is in control. Dang, being still means listening to my heart and thoughts which is something I do not want to do because that makes me have to deal with them. I always but on a soft shell but a hard core.  And honestly for some things in my life I wanna be so hard and just let it be, put on my game face and move right along.  But this being still thing isn't letting me. I ask for wisdom, and He gives me opportunities to use it. I ask for patience and He shows me how to withstand trials. I ask for perseverance and He encourages me along the way. 

  I guess what I am saying. Is when these times come, and they always do, and maybe you are going through it now. Standfast. Check yourself for what you find your confidence and hope in. If mine were in my work or someone I liked. I would have crumbled a long time ago. Let this time be used for build you up and strengthen your character. Nothing goes according to what we plan, and there is not need to feel guilty or feel like we have failed. It is life. It is rough. Wish we could just put on a helmet and run with it. But we cannot.  We have to slow down and feel and see and understand the big picture. 

   Now that I got this off my chest I think I am going to go shop a lil bit. I love you guys dearly. And have some craziness to write to you. I just needed to blahhhh that out first... let me just say.... the guys in this city...... wow... not so good.

for my boys

My oldest brother always told me, Kt, if something is kicking you in the ass, turn around and kick it back even hard. 

    You know when you pray to God asking Him or patience and wisdom and opportunity, and then when situations come were you are to use them you then turn it around and ask what the hell?  Yeah I am super bad at doing that.  I am like that cocky kid in the group saying I will be the first to jump, and then everyone is like ok do it..... I walk over the the ledge and am like oh.... uh.... well let me take my shoes off... and then make up stuff to draw it out or not do it.  Well because I have constantly been asking the Lord to break me, He sure does answer prayers. EEEEEK!!! I am in a place where I have absolutely no idea what is going on except for the tasks I have daily.  That is all He is allowing me to do.  Do well with the small, and then be given much. I usually go big or go home, and this time..... im taking baby steps and can't see where I am stepping next. And in this, I am being given so much strength and grace as I grow into the woman I am still to become.  This year has only just begun and it seems to be getting harder, and yet better. My brother in law is a preacher in the army and is over seas while my sister is with her three children in a city she doesn't know well... My Oldest brother is a marine who got called to go to libya 2 months early to protect against the genocide... ( I can't say bye to him.) and my other brother Justin is in the army and goes overseas in one month... ( I see him next week) My hope is held high because it is in the One who created all we see, and is the guardian of those who love Him.  They will be gone for the rest of the year, and I pray 10 angels around each of them.  So, I have that on my heart.  I am unable to talk to people I care deeply about b/c of life circumstances, and have career all over my mind.  Boy I didn't see al this coming. Wanna know what I said on the new year? 

 " This is my year. I am going big and hard and no one is stopping me and I am gunna do it alone if I have too."    

  Well, I am going big and I am going hard...... but not in the way my mind thought it would happen.  I have been humbled to the max, shown to have true selfless love, had to rely on only God when before I told myself I could do it alone. I have been shown again the big picture...... and it is not about me. Not even close..... But do I get to take part in it? You bet! And that, is finally enough for me. To be able to be a vessel and a voice of what it is about, is what I have really always wanted:) Just do damn stubborn to actually do it.  

   So this season I am in, I am counting it joy, because I am producing steadfastness. 

   Here are some verses I have found to help encourage. I love you guys with all my heart.  And truly enjoy your emails, and tweets, and comments. Never be afraid to say anything:) 

It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. (Deuteronomy 31:8)

The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. (Psalm 9:9-10)

I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. (Psalm 16:8)

( Just a picture I found on the internet of soldiers returning home....)

You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. (Psalm 32:7-8)

I sought the Lord, and he answered me, and delivered me from all my fears. (Psalm 34:4)

Those who seek the Lord lack no good thing. (Psalm 34:10b)

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and do not forget all his benefits—who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's. (Psalm 103:2-5)

LOVE YOU!