Quite Enough

" I was so unique, now I feel skin deep..... Crying myself to sleep cause I cannot keep their attention.... though I could be strong, but it's killing me..... I want to be beautiful, make you stand in awe. Look inside my heart, be amazed...." By Bethany Dillon.   This song sums up so much of what us girls go through.  When things are going well with life we feel so strong, asif we need no one. But when something stumps us, and makes us feel small for a second, we gasp, and do not know what we can do to fix things. We look in the mirror only to see something we do not like. The skin, the rolls, the eyes, the lips, the hair. Longing for it to be perfect so he will adore us in every fashion of life. Wanting to always keep his attention on you. But when it does not come, what does one do? We want to be so worthy, so adorned, and so loved that he sees no other woman. And so, to get to this point, we try to clothe ourselves in the hottest fashion, in the best makeup that covers every flaw, keep our bodies the slimmest we can to make the sex appeal to him daily. This feeling sucks.  Because, no matter the amount one tries to make themselves perfect, they will never reach it. When we reach a goal.... we make another more insane one to meet the next month, only for him. What is really in his mind. One may never know. But of this I do know. The songs ends with.. " You make me beautiful, You make me stand in awe, You step inside my heart, and I am amazed, I love to hear You say, who I am is quite enough, You make me worthy of love, and beautiful."
   I cannot tell you how hard it is to write this down right now. Because as my fingers type I am wanting to make myself skinnier, cleanse my skin of all its scares, have the look that captures him every moment. But needing to realize, I am quite enough. My beauty is not of this world, but of something fuller and more breathtaking than any one could describe.  Beauty in Christ is undying, trusting, always patient, always kind, does not envy other bodies or faces, but endures all.....
   But it can be hard when the slump times come to our door. As much as we try to lock them out and stay guarded from them.... it is impossible.  Which is my I adore Pride and Prejudice. :)