A very dear friend of mine and I found ourselves driving around north hollywood talking about our men situations. Crazy huh? Two girls talking about boys.... since when does that happen? :) Anyways, we kept coming back to a big question that even her dad could not exactly answer. Here is it.... Why is it, we are told you are the most amazing girl, I would marry you, the best girl I know... and why can't other girls be like you..... yet..... we are the girls not taken on the dates. Still, they ask out the tiny bimbos, and the skanky ladies. Now I personally and ok with waiting, because if my beloved sees me for me and knows my heart, then he wont want anyone else.... However right now the good guys go for the bad girls... And it sucks as the 'best friend' if you wanna say.... to see an honorable man getting sucked into the shallow girls. Even so, they talk about settling down and wanting to slowly look for THE GIRL, but still, shallow. Now this is something that has happened for a long time. And now I am finally wanting some feedback.
This does however point to something. Because what men see on magazines, in movies, and in porn is a body that is not natural. And, because they are used to letting themselves see that and get used to that, they make that vision of a woman reality. The tiny tiny waist. The big chest. Plump lips. And always getting one to a high. However, that is not us. So, you will be let down constantly by a so called normal woman. And that, is your bad. If you, have this made up vision in mind, and the real thing not coming close to what you have in mind, then yes, you will not be satisfied. So, why not the real thing? Why the fantasy?
Men also say they love a woman with some curves. I think curves are amaaaazing. That is what makes us different from the man. Well one reason. So you love the curves, yet run towards the model shape. ( and this is not to point fingers or be angry at skinny girls.... b/c you also are beautiful) I know I need to keep in mind that most people are drawn to a type, however is that type shallow? Because if you think about it, when it comes to porn and when it comes to having the sexiest hottest, whatnot girl you are self serving yourself.... and seeking your own desires.
Now this is not going to change me. I love the way I look ( most of the time ). I love that my bootay cannot fit in jeans very well.... my breasts make me look bigger than I am. My skin is has marks on it. And my thighs are thick. But we just wonder, why do men say these things, then go for another. Where are our dates? Not that we do not have any at all, But the men we adore and love, fall for the typical hot. But when you think about it, the typical hot is just a small shell...
I suppose age also has to do with it. Why be dumb and get a quick fix? Even if you men do not want to get married right now, why not prepare yourself for the biggest love of your life... That is what I am doing...... and I will give you this..... My friend and I were talking about being the best wife we can be, and golly, we will have the tightest bodies, with curves you will love to hold. The longest patience, because already we await your arrival. The best lovin.... because we have waited our lives to give it all to you. and i mean ALLLL!!! ;) not afraid to say that aloud.
But really.... why.
This is exactly what I was thinking the other day when one of my best guy friends told me I was a good girl and he liked that I was a good girl unlike most the girls out there these days, yet he still dates the slutty girls which aren't always the model type looking but I get where you are coming. I love these blogs you have about life and enjoy reading them.
ReplyDeleteI tried to write this eloquently and failed. So, I'll bullet point it for both clarity and simplicity.
ReplyDelete• People operate on two sets of life plans - short term and long term.
• Often, the choice that provides the greatest pleasure/benefit/enjoyment in the short term is not the one that provides the greatest pleasure/benefit/enjoyment in the long term.
• People are often shortsighted and easily way-laid from long term plans. E.g. a middle-aged man wants to lose weight but succumbs to having a greasy burger, because "one greasy burger won't hurt".
• Good men who want a respectable wife/a family/a church-going life are still prone to making bad choices in the short term that don't match with long term goals.
• Bad girls often have higher appeal in the short term than respectable women. Bad girls provide all the benefit of the fun and physical aspects of relationships without the challenging emotional commitment. Respectable women in the short run are more frightening due to the gravity of the relationship than the "bad girls", which make it a relationship headed in with (appropriately) a lot less levity. When your aspired end is "until death do us part", you are going to be more reluctant to get involved.
• Modern American society has delayed adulthood and thus marriage by perpetuating the educating system into the mid-twenties. Marriage is an institution for adults, not children or adolescents.
• And it certainly doesn't help you live in Hollywood, where image is even more important than anywhere else in the US of A.
Not the prettiest display of prose ever fashioned, but hopefully clear. And it is worth noting that this comes from the perspective of a young man who struggles with many of these same issues himself on a day to day basis. The best hope we have is that there are young men and women out there who not only choose to love those things good and beauty but live their life consistently and accordingly. And patience is good. God will provide.
wow!!! very well said! thank you!
ReplyDelete