Patience is a Virtue!!

    Oh my goodness!!! I am not good with this word. The P word!! PATIENCE!! I have the worst road rage, the worst!!!! So my patience always falls short for that big time..... actually not sure that will ever change :). hehehe. However, being patient for other things such as career, and love, are slowly getting stronger.
  Career wise, slow and steady is always good. But, because I am a go-getta, the whole being patient and trusting God the open and close the doors for what is to come has always been alot easier to say than do.  In the entertainment industry, because everything moves so quickly, when you are going slowly along, you feel as if you are not getting anywhere, when really you are moving steadily and building your whole character the correct way.  So, whenever you are feeling as if things are stopped and going nowhere, then let yourself be still for a second, step outside of the picture around you, look at the big view, and breath.  Because, it is going to be ok.
   Now. Love. For one thing as a side note.... I am writing this after four hours of sleep, and have pandora on, listening to mariah tunes, and now Boyz II men singing one sweet day! hahahhaha such an amazing song though. So maybe while you read this soak in it ;) hahha just kidding! Ok, no more side notes.  I do happen to think I am a bit patient for love. I mean, not having a relationship and being careful on waiting for the ONE! However, I have been a bit more out there than I usually am. Perhaps because I am just comfortable in me and not afraid to let someone get a taste.... But do they deserve it? Ugh.... I kissed someone else again this weekend... sorry mommy! lol. He captured me, he was charming, admirable, and adventurous, and a good kisser too. We were under the open sky!!!!! So romantic!!!
  However, does being patient for love aslo mean being patient for the physical also? I think so. Keeping even more of yourself for your beloved. I tend to open myself up very easily about my life to others, but, when it comes to letting someone fully in.... no one has ever gotten that far.  I was talking to a friend of mine the other night, and he was saying that he holds alot of him in only for those closest to him. Family and then when he gets married, he will share everything with his wife.  I think that is so special.  I used to always say that I would be so patient and hold everything in..... yeah.... that lasted maybe a day :-/. ahhah. I love seeing how people wait in their own ways.
  The point I am trying to get across, is that your beloved is going to worth the wait, and the tears you may have already cried over them. I have kept alot of big things for the man I will call mine. At times I have been asked to let everything go.  But I already love him too much to do such a thing..... And so!!! Because my mind has been thinking..... more and more. I am even more intent on saving my kisses.  For someone I am completely in like with! Because let me tell you....  the difference between a kiss with chemistry and passion is so much more enticing than that of a quick fun one.
   MMMMMM my man is gunna love love love me down! :)

SEXY!

  A dear friend of mine is in town and we have gotten to catch up on everything in life. We are having all the main girl talks while she is here..... you know, God, boys, sex, bodies, sex, and boys, and oh yeah! sex. hahahahah I love the random crazy phrases that come out of our mouths. Gents, you do not even know.  My friend marisa, who is a CRAZY Italian young woman ( she prides herself on it.) Is more put it out there.  She is not afraid of anything.  She is the who cares type. The, I know who I am and I know you want me so lets try something!  Although she can be a bit out there. (In a good way) I look up to her in so many ways! Such a true breath of fresh air.  The things that drives you nuts about her are the things you cannot live without about her also!  That, men, is sexy!
  The things you cannot stand about a person, are also the things you cannot live without.  The perfections are found in the imperfections of the other lover. I grew up saying that phrase with my girls back home.  hahahaha Our phrases consisted of... Find the perfection in the imperfection. Rejection is protection. hhahahaha and of course... A women who fears the Lord is to be praised. and to be honest! I think that is sexy. Sometimes, when you think your being a nerd and whatnot, your being sexy to another.
  We are told to be tiny, have big boobs, perky butts, flawless skin, and fashion that screams money and sex. However, the past few weeks I have been thinking hard about this!
  I like to dress up, put my heels on and stack on the makeup...... however, I feel the best when I am in leggings and a lose off the shoulder sweater. I love getting done reading the scriptures and being so filled. I love that my Identity is not in anything fleeting.
  Marisa and I have talked about how hard we will work to stay sexy for the men that we marry.  To always keep them on their toes.... and boy do we have our plans and ideas..;) you wanna know? Betta put a rang on it baby! However, we also know that no matter the skin the wrinkles... and the vanes that show.... The beauty and purity is ageless on the inside... WOW! I sound so preachy and cheesy. However, we all know it is true. The beauty of anyone goes from the inside out..... and there is no ignoring it..... mmhhhmm....

 

Go For It!!!

I turned down a date this weekend... :-/.  Perhaps because there are a few others I would rather go out with. BUT I am not tied down to anyone. I just hate that whole... awkward for real date after JUST meeting them in a club a week before!! Maybe that is the reason!!! The meeting at a club. However, should that club man be taken out of the equation only because he was in the club? I guess not! So pretty much what I started my blog for..... I am not letting happen. EEEK! I knew I would have to jump out of my comfort zone for this. dumb! I suppose I just use the man for confidence build up, and a good conversation, and then peace out the chance I get...... nonetheless, what if the guy is not someone you had only met for a night? What if he was a friend? Someone who you have invested relations and trust in.  This friend begins pursuing perhaps more.  Not just a friendship.  Go for it? Or no! Because all these questions come up!!! In my mind at least. Does he want to get serious? What if another guy wants you later down the road a bit? Am I wanting this or is it just fun and safe?!?! ugh. DO NOT ASK THE QUESTIONS!
    You cannot be afraid to let someone in. Especially if he is deserving! Doing everything right, and being kind and encouraging. Give a chance! This goes for club men and also for friends. I am a firm believer that love at first sight can occur, but I also believe one day after being friends with someone for even ten years you can wake up and be completely in love with them.
  Anyhow, Open yourself up a little! You do not have to open your legs or your mouth! ( although that tends to come along with it for most... hhahah) open up the heart. Cheeseballs I know.... But if he is reaching for and deserving it, then GO FOR IT!  Because in todays society, when a good man actually approaches you and asks you for a hangout, a date.... give him one!

Get what i'm preachin? ;)

Give me a kiss to build a dream on.

   A kiss. A touching of the lips. Just lips. Is that a big deal? I always was the girl wanting to hide my kisses from people. They meant alot to me. My lips are worth more than just a kiss and run. However, as of late, I have forgotten the meaning, the passion, and the true desire for a kiss. I have kissed,  under 10 guys in my 22 years. Now me thinking right now, that is not very many, but in my heart and my true feelings, that number is to much for me. Just me personally. Now, do not get me wrong. hahaha I LOOOOOVVVEEE to kiss. I love to be held and embraced. Although, I have yet to be held and embraced for more than a night. Kiss and run. Also, while kissing, I have not felt that spark, the, " I must have you and keep you close to me." Well, I take that back, perhaps once.
  The last person i kissed, I met 4 hours before kissing him. The fun and flirt go away quickly. And I am left walking out and feeling icky. I am not trying to be this perfectly pure girl.... because trust me, my thoughts tend to be far from pure. Just being honest.:) I do not want to just kiss. I want to KIIIISSSSS. I want to be wanted and needed for that kiss from the man. His lips desire mine and his arms reach out for me, take me in, and have his way with me. hahahahahah Getting all sappy I know, however I just woke up and all these feelings came rushing.
   All I am really saying, is I am worth more than just a simple kiss and go. I lost that feeling for a while. I gave my lips away to whomever would take them. ( they had to make the first move of course ;) ) hahahaha. Give me a kiss to build a dream on..... Give me a kiss to build a life on..... kiss me. And give me the world through one moment.  Totally sappy I know, but I do believe in a kiss, something magical can happen.... mmmhhhmmm:)
  So for me, I want to hide my kisses. Keep them safe I suppose. Because let me tell you, my kisses are full, and good.... and I want to give them to the man who deserves them... I do not expect to only kiss one more man in my life, but I would at least like to know him more than four hours. ;)

Making Yourself Comfortable.

   I had a good conversation with a new friend of mine the other day, and when I say new friend, I literally mean new.  I met Scott at a BBQ on sunday. We have fun hanging out and talking, exchange numbers, and two days later I get a phone call saying he had a friend in town and needed someone to hangout while Scott worked. So I picked him up and after a few hours we became best friends. Hahahaha. I suppose it does not take to much time to create a wonderful friendship. ( in some cases) Anyways, I was talking to Vince ( the new friend) and he was talking about guys and girls. He was telling me he was very wise when it came to relationship things..... I suppose we all think that way, but he was pretty legit. Although,  he made a big point at the end of the conversation ladies. I asked him what he liked in a girl, the looks and whatnot.... He rambled on and then summed everything up in the perfect saying. " If she does not look comfortable, then I am not comfortable." In his case, he was talking about fashion, such as wearing the highest heals and the tightest dresses where we are always having to suck in and put out arms around our bellies, so no one sees the rolls..... But really, the saying could be taken in more ways than one. If I am not comfortable.... for me, to be comfy means.... being around people I feel safe with, and then when it comes to fashion, just leggings and a hoodie, or dress and my Uggs. mmmmmm!!! But really, we go out of our way to always try to be perfect that we forget who we really are!
   Living in Hollywood does intensify this whole thing times ten. However all ladies really try to hide themselves to make themselves stand out to all men. Why hide? What is there to hide ladies? We are all made so differently, yet still share the same beauty! How ravishing is that!?
  I adore art, and try to get to the museums as often as I can, and the portraits of women are all portrayed so differently, but the purity and the womanly figure is still depicted the same. (well, most of the time).
Every curve placed where it is designed to be. Every freckle, every hair.  I urge you all to read through Song of Solomon. I do not care if you are a Christian, this is a book that so wonderfully describes love and the body and the intimacy we all desire. I will be honest. The book is all out there. And I love it for that! Read Solomon chapter 4. The chapter goes into His adoration for his bride. Wow.
   We are all made in different shapes and sizes. We all desire a love that will never fail. We all desire to be rescued. However until we are comfortable with our own selves. No man will feel comfortable around us.
  So get Comfy!!!! :)

Ps.  go ahead and listen to some sexy songs and dance around the kitchen! Always helps.:)