You know when you pray to God asking Him or patience and wisdom and opportunity, and then when situations come were you are to use them you then turn it around and ask what the hell? Yeah I am super bad at doing that. I am like that cocky kid in the group saying I will be the first to jump, and then everyone is like ok do it..... I walk over the the ledge and am like oh.... uh.... well let me take my shoes off... and then make up stuff to draw it out or not do it. Well because I have constantly been asking the Lord to break me, He sure does answer prayers. EEEEEK!!! I am in a place where I have absolutely no idea what is going on except for the tasks I have daily. That is all He is allowing me to do. Do well with the small, and then be given much. I usually go big or go home, and this time..... im taking baby steps and can't see where I am stepping next. And in this, I am being given so much strength and grace as I grow into the woman I am still to become. This year has only just begun and it seems to be getting harder, and yet better. My brother in law is a preacher in the army and is over seas while my sister is with her three children in a city she doesn't know well... My Oldest brother is a marine who got called to go to libya 2 months early to protect against the genocide... ( I can't say bye to him.) and my other brother Justin is in the army and goes overseas in one month... ( I see him next week) My hope is held high because it is in the One who created all we see, and is the guardian of those who love Him. They will be gone for the rest of the year, and I pray 10 angels around each of them. So, I have that on my heart. I am unable to talk to people I care deeply about b/c of life circumstances, and have career all over my mind. Boy I didn't see al this coming. Wanna know what I said on the new year?
" This is my year. I am going big and hard and no one is stopping me and I am gunna do it alone if I have too."
Well, I am going big and I am going hard...... but not in the way my mind thought it would happen. I have been humbled to the max, shown to have true selfless love, had to rely on only God when before I told myself I could do it alone. I have been shown again the big picture...... and it is not about me. Not even close..... But do I get to take part in it? You bet! And that, is finally enough for me. To be able to be a vessel and a voice of what it is about, is what I have really always wanted:) Just do damn stubborn to actually do it.
So this season I am in, I am counting it joy, because I am producing steadfastness.
Here are some verses I have found to help encourage. I love you guys with all my heart. And truly enjoy your emails, and tweets, and comments. Never be afraid to say anything:)
It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. (Deuteronomy 31:8)
The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. (Psalm 9:9-10)
I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. (Psalm 16:8)
( Just a picture I found on the internet of soldiers returning home....)
You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. (Psalm 32:7-8)
I sought the Lord, and he answered me, and delivered me from all my fears. (Psalm 34:4)
Those who seek the Lord lack no good thing. (Psalm 34:10b)
Bless the Lord, O my soul, and do not forget all his benefits—who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's. (Psalm 103:2-5)
LOVE YOU!
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